Kind of a Wreck, Kind of a Leader

Someone once told me that I had a lot of great leadership qualities. But they also said they didn’t see me as ambitious. While they identified that I am someone who grows in my current role, that wasn’t defined as ambition to them.

It was said kindly, maybe even curiously. But it landed heavy. It took me a while to understand why it stayed with me.

Because I’ve worked late. I’ve led teams. I’ve coached others through burnout, transformation, and transition. I’ve built programs from scratch. I’ve held space while still getting the work done. I’ve earned several certifications and sought out professional development opportunities to grow my skills. I completed my higher education later in life, which came with its own set of challenges. And I’m proud of everything I’ve accomplished, because I did it on my own, without a support system or anyone encouraging me along the way. And I’ve done all of it while carrying the weight of things most people will never see.

Sometimes, even I forget how much I’ve carried.

But no, I’ve never said I want to be a VP. I’ve never dreamed about a corner office. I’ve never needed a title to tell me who I am or the value that I add.

That doesn’t mean I’m not ambitious.

It means my ambition looks different.

My ambition is to lead with emotional intelligence. To tell the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable. To model boundaries. To heal out loud. To build trust and teach people how to lead without losing themselves.

My ambition is to do work that matters, not just work that looks good on paper.

So maybe my ambition doesn’t fit everyone’s definition, but that doesn’t make it any less real. But I’m building something honest. Something human. Something that might not come with a title change, but still creates change.

And that counts too.