Kind of a Wreck, Kind of a Leader

When I was a kid, we moved around a lot.

Which meant I was often the new girl. The one walking into a room where everyone else already had their friendships, routines, and unspoken rules. I learned early on that if I wanted to belong, I had to try. I had to observe. I had to adapt. And I had to find a way to connect with people who weren’t always looking to connect with me.

Sometimes it worked. A lot of times it didn’t. I got very used to eating lunch alone or spending my recess looking at the other kids who were playing in their friend groups. But what I didn’t realize at the time was that I was building something. A kind of muscle memory for navigating unfamiliar spaces. A skill set rooted in curiosity, empathy, and quiet resilience.

I didn’t know it would serve me in my adult life. But it has.

That same instinct I developed as a kid, the ability to read a room, to find a thread of common ground, to extend myself even when it was uncomfortable, became a cornerstone of how I show up professionally.

It became the foundation for how I network.

Not in the traditional, business-card-exchanging sense. But in the real, human way. The kind that’s built on connection, not performance.

For a long time, I didn’t have a safety net. No family connections in high places. No whisper network pulling me forward. I had to build relationships from scratch, relationships that could help me navigate systems I didn’t understand, find opportunities I wasn’t always invited into, and grow in spaces where I wasn’t always seen.

At first, it felt like survival. I needed people to see me, to hear me, to remember me, to want to connect with me as much as I wanted to connect with them.

But slowly, something shifted. What once felt like survival began to feel like strength.

It became my superpower.

Because building relationships is more than a skill, it’s a lifeline. Not just for getting ahead, but for finding support. For learning. For being reminded of your value when you forget it yourself.

Some of the most important breakthroughs in my life didn’t come from a job posting or a formal mentor. One of them came from a simple message I sent to someone I admired just to say their work meant something to me. That conversation turned into a connection that opened doors I didn’t even know existed. They came from a conversation. A shared story. A connection that started with curiosity and turned into something real.

And if you’re someone who thinks networking is just transactional or self-promotional, I want to challenge that.

Networking is human. It’s emotional. It’s deeply personal.

It’s coffee chats and checking in and remembering someone’s name. It’s reaching out when you don’t need something. It’s lifting as you climb.

If you haven’t been taught to network, or if it feels uncomfortable, it’s okay to start small. Send the message. Make the intro. Offer support without expecting anything back.

Your network isn’t just a tool. It’s your community. And you deserve to be surrounded by people who see you, who believe in you, and who say your name in rooms you’re not in yet.

That’s not strategy. That’s survival turned into strength. And it’s something you can start building right now.