Kind of a Wreck, Kind of a Leader

I watch a lot of reality TV. Not the dramatic kind with manufactured arguments, but the kind where people compete. Survivor, baking championships, talent shows. There’s something deeply human about watching someone chase a dream, especially when that dream has lived in them for years.

And I’ve noticed something. Those shows are filled with leadership moments.

On Survivor, some contestants have waited their entire lives to get there. They’ve studied the game, imagined what it would be like, and when the moment comes, they show up. Not all of them are athletic or loud or bold. Some of them are quiet. Underdogs. People who wouldn’t get picked first for a team. And still, they push through the mud, they solve the puzzle, they carry the weight, literally and figuratively. They surprise everyone, including themselves.

There’s something about that grit. That ability to keep going when your legs are shaking and your confidence is slipping. That moment when it would be easier to give up, but you don’t. That’s leadership. Not because of a title or a strategy, but because of resilience. Because of heart.

And then there are the baking shows. People competing in a field they love, one they’ve often built their livelihood around. They mess up. They burn something. The decoration falls apart. And in that moment, you can see the disappointment hit hard. But what’s even more powerful is watching what they do next. They go back in the next round and try again.

They keep baking.

It takes so much to bounce back after a very public failure, especially when it’s tied to your passion or your career. But they do it. And you watch as the other contestants, sometimes technically their competition, rally around them with kindness and encouragement. There’s something beautiful about that. The way people can be both competitors and supporters. The way someone’s hardest moment becomes a shared one.

I think we often define leadership too narrowly. We look for it in titles, in people who sit at the head of the table. But leadership shows up in so many different places. It shows up in people who keep going when no one expects them to. It shows up in people who believe in others when they’re doubting themselves. It shows up in everyday acts of courage, connection, and vulnerability.

So yes, I watch reality TV. But I also learn from it. About tenacity. About compassion. About the ways people lift each other up, even when they’re trying to win.

And maybe that’s the point. Leadership isn’t just about what you do when you’re in charge. It’s about how you treat people on the way there.

I think a part of me always roots for the underdog because I’ve felt like one. And maybe I still do sometimes. But if there’s anything these shows have taught me, it’s that grit, kindness, and belief, in yourself and in others, go a long way. And that’s the kind of leader I want to be.