Kind of a Wreck, Kind of a Leader

The “F” doesn’t stand for failure. It’s not about being fierce or flawless or even about saying “f*** it” when things get hard. The “F” in leadership is female.

We don’t talk enough about how women lead or how they need to be led because most leadership playbooks were written by and for men. Most industries are still male-dominated, and whether you’re a female leader or someone being led by one, there’s an unspoken pressure to adapt to a male leadership model. It can leave women feeling like something is wrong with them. Like they’re “too emotional,” “too soft,” or “too sensitive.” But the truth is, women bring something entirely different to leadership, and that difference is a strength.

Traditionally, men are celebrated for decisiveness, competition, and authority. Women, on the other hand, are often valued for emotional intelligence, connection, and the ability to read a room. But even when they bring those qualities to the table, they can be met with skepticism. A man who speaks with emotion is seen as passionate. A man who takes time to build rapport is seen as a strong communicator. A woman doing the same might be seen as socializing or wasting time, like the connection-building is optional, or worse, unproductive.

Female leaders often have to work harder just to be seen, respected, and taken seriously. They walk a tightrope between being “too assertive” and “too nice,” often adjusting their tone and approach in ways their male counterparts rarely think about. And despite putting in the same, if not more, effort, women are still, on average, paid less for the same roles. The fight isn’t just to lead well; it’s to prove, over and over, that they belong in the room.

The same goes for how people want to be led. Many men thrive under clear direction, structure, and a results-first approach. Women, however, often thrive when they feel seen, heard, and trusted. They want to know their contributions matter on both a personal and professional level. When leaders, regardless of gender, fail to recognize this, it can feel like a disconnect, especially for women working under male leaders who prioritize performance over people.

The F in leadership is about female energy. Not just for women, but for everyone. It’s about creating workplaces where vulnerability is not weakness, where collaboration is celebrated, and where leaders don’t have to fit into a narrow mold to be taken seriously.

The future of leadership is female. Not because women should replace men, but because leadership needs to expand beyond a single blueprint. We need the full spectrum: strength and empathy, results and relationships, clarity and compassion. When we value the unique strengths women bring to leadership, we’re not just creating better workplaces. We’re creating better outcomes, better teams, and better futures.